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Hi friends!

If you didn’t know, just a few days ago I flew home from my first ever FitBloggin conference. This was the fifth consecutive year of the conference and I was beyond excited to attend! I’ll share more about the conference and my experience in another post. Right now I want to focus on one session in particular. The one session I absolutely did not want to miss was the Tough Love session presented by Steve from Steve Is Getting Fit and Sue from Mrs. Fatass.

See I’ve been on this journey for a while – a long while. And after a while, I started to give up. I started to let myself have just one more glass of wine, just one more bite of dinner, just one more day off from the gym. This is a letter to myself: calling me out on all bullshit I’ve been telling myself over the last year.

Dearest Sam:

I know. Really I do. Your life is busy. You have a great new job, things are going well at home, you’re getting ready to start graduate school. Things are on the up and up. But you know what you’re missing? Yourself. That’s right yourself.

No matter how much you tell yourself you’re perfectly comfortable in your skin, we both know it isn’t true. That’s not to say you can’t rock that cute black and white dress you just bought, or look fierce in those cork wedges. You’ll be a goddess no matter what.

Yet there’s this lingering fear in the back of your head. Fear that you’re killing yourself and not willing to do anything about it. You’ve all but given up. You have so much knowledge in your head!! You have EXPERIENCE for cryin out loud. Seriously, you’ve done this before. But you can’t recreate the same magic again. It has to be all new. So here are a few things I need you to stop doing:

Stop pretending like you are too tired at the end of the day to go to the gym. I give you full permission to go straight home if you work 14+ hours. Fall in love with movement again. Stop pretending like you don’t have time to make a decent fucking meal. From freezer to table, at the most takes 60 minutes. Fall in love with fresh, healthy food again. Put in the effort and give yourself a fighting chance.

Fall in love with the lifestyle. We both know you feel amazing when you put effort towards your health. Stop focusing on the end all. Find joy in the journey. Release all expectations. Believe in the what you can when you can. You can do it. I believe in you.

Hi friends!

I’m back at it again. I don’t know how many of you are new friends and how many are old, but you may remember me from my days at Never Say Never Blog. While I’m still, in theory, never saying never I knew the time had come to start fresh. When I shut down my last blog, the reasoning I gave was money troubles and that’s true. We were in fairly dire straights. Luckily the BF was finally able to get a job, I also got a new job, and life started to turn on the up and up.

But what I didn’t share were the less savory reasons. I shutdown NSN because I wasn’t loosing weight, because the writing was difficult, and because I felt like I was failing at blogging. The pressure (self imposed of course) of having the funniest posts, or the best tips, or the prettiest layout became too much. I didn’t feel like NSN was serving its purpose any longer.

Expectations are a funny thing. I believe we’re taught at a young age to expect results from all sorts of outcomes. If A happens, than B will follow. Not the case, I’m afraid.

Because we set expectations, we run the risk of heartache and pain. I don’t mean to say all expectations are bad. But I feel we must learn not to tie our emotions so strongly to them. I struggled in my weight loss for a long time because I tied my self too closely to the expectations of what I was doing. Oh, tracked all my food and got to the gym 4 times this week, why haven’t I lost the 2 pounds I was supposed to?

So I’m back to writing. I’ve missed the release and the interaction. But this time I’m letting go of all the expectations. It is what it is. A place for me to share little bits of my days with friends new and old. Come back to see what I’m letting go of expectations in my weight loss journey and why I’m so looking forward to it.

Until then…